Monday, October 17, 2005

A short break

My doctor has advised me against using my left hand for 3 more weeks. He says, a fractured finger takes 4 weeks of time to mend. Though I can type (with some struggle, of course) with 6 fingers, I think I better let my finger heal completely.

So, I shall take a short break now and be back soon.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

World - Through my granny's eyes.

I do not know how old my grandma is. I do not know when her birthday falls. I never tried to find out either. But what I know is she is the sweetest woman on earth. And perhaps, sweetest thing I will ever know. Can someone be nice to everyone in the world? She does it and does it all the time.

I remember when I was a small boy; I was very emotionally attached to her. I always thought I was her most favorite grandson. May be that's what all my cousins felt. But that doesn't matter, does it? It used to be full of excitement when she visited us from her village. And the summer vacations... It spreads like a dream in front of my eyes when I think about those days. Sure, there were a lot of other exciting things apart from my grandma's love. A lot of things I still remember and will remember for ever.

The rice fields and coconut trees, mulberry fruits and silkworms, the just-hatched-chicks (you take them in your palm and you instantly get goose bumps), my cousins, my grandpa and uncles' special treatment towards me, my mother's brag about my grades in the school, my father's occasional smile at my mischief and what not. Those were the days of my life. And to crown them all - my grandmother. Even falling ill was something I would look forward to if my grandma was there for me. Even now I feel the same way. I remember - when I was in Hyderabad and got typhoid, the only thing I could think of was going to my grandma's village and spending some time there. I know no one else can take better care of me. Not even my mother. Such is her love.

Off late, I am getting a guilty feeling that I am not spending as much time with her as I should. And I think it's true. You grow up and you find lot of other things that excite you and you tend to forget what you are not supposed to. You know, sometimes her feelings for you overwhelm you. She always has good and only good things to say about you. Your most-horrible mistakes don't change her impression on you. She thinks you have the sharpest and perfect nose. She thinks any girl who refuses to marry you is the unluckiest. She sheds tears when things don't go so-well for you. She spends hours praying to god for your well-being. At times, she mutters that everything should happen on time for one's own good. She usually means my marriage. But when I explain to her that finding the right girl is more important than time, she understands. She says she is still sticking around because she wants to see me married. And I know she means it. She lives to see us live happily.

As I look back now, a sense of remorse fills my heart. Could I have done something which would have made her happier? I know not, for she never seemed to expect anything from people. And I don't know what makes me think that she was not happy. May be it's my selfish way of looking at everyone from my own perspective. She always had a lot to give us than she would require from us. Our philosophies about life and relationship are different, mine and her. She gives and does not expect a return. I look for mutuality in every aspect of a relationship. But you see, that does not make a difference. Because she is my beloved grandmother and I am her most favorite grandson.