I am a software engineer and like others I receive hundreds of e-mails a week. I know it's not difficult to understand how close these modern software professionals are with electronic mails. There are many kinds of e-mails that you see every day like spam, forwarded mails, please-forward-to-all-you-know mails, account statements, personal mail etc. However, today's focus will be on one kind that never failed to put me off. The one that makes a mockery of human-feelings. The mail that personally invites you to a wedding. The mail that, without fail, says 'treat this as my personal invitation'.
Are you seeing what I am about to talk about? Good. Well, I have been seeing these for the past several years and perhaps I should have been got used to it. But I have not. Instead it annoys me every time. In India, for most of the (unlucky) people, marriage is a once-in-lifetime occasion and traditionally the idea has been inviting everyone that the bride and groom's family know. In other words, the bigger the gatherings, more the blessings. And hence, it has been the pleasure of the bride/groom to invite people. Alas! These days, we have no time for such thoughts, let alone practicing it.
I am bewildered. What is it about sending an email to hundreds of contacts in your address book and put them all in CC or BCC list. There you go! Hundred invisible people invited in 5 minutes. Now the question is not how busy one is to personally meeting everyone and inviting. The real question is how much you want their presence. One can argue that he/she remembered you and that's why you are copied on that e-mail. But I don't buy that. I can counter that an e-mail wish or an online greeting card can definitely substitute my personal wishes. Can't it? Because, it is easier for me to do that than presenting myself at the wedding.
Having said that, one can argue that in the modern world, one gets so little time for oneself. Where is the time for all these touchy-feely things? Whatever little you have, you spare them for your family and beloved!
But this sums up the current situation. Time has changed. Traditions are being let go. But do you really think e-mails can go as far as human feelings and respect? If you are saying 'no', I see your point.
Note: CC - Carbon Copy, BCC - Blind Carbon Copy
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2 comments:
I think you are missing a few things.
1) The online identity is so strong, that an email is personal for a few people. Few have done me favorus without seeing me or speaking with me ever, just by emails. This nice guy Janus even gave me a speaker slot http://cmf2006.dk/pranshu_jain just because I asked nicely on emails.
2) Email is the only way you know a few people. Most of the people I work with right now, I havent seen ever and I have talked on phone maybe a couple of times. An Email will be the first choice for any communication.
3) Some are better at writing than at speaking
4) The most important one is the conflict between percieved social skills and personal beliefs. Host is expected to insist - Please come. The invitee is expected to lie "definitely". Both know it. They are actually doing you a favour by sparing you the lie.
I agree with the last point. It definitely saves you a reason/excuse.
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